


kyknophobia

by aquariusblues



Category: Book - Fandom, The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, also. there are swans and kit is Not pleased, discussion of death and grief, idk.. its fluff with a dash of angst because i cant not have angst, spoilers for lord of shadows!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 18:53:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11319510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquariusblues/pseuds/aquariusblues
Summary: kit and ty take a walk at the park





	kyknophobia

**Author's Note:**

> Finally got the courage to write something for kitty and here it is! Writing Ty is hard so I hope I did him justice.. I love you, Tiberius.
> 
> (heads up, there are spoilers for Lord of Shadows and a small discussion on death/grief)
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy!!

They walked along the park, the leaves yellow and red, sun shining bright between them. Ty was quiet, like he usually was these days and Kit missed their conversations. Ty’s smooth voice as he told him random facts and the way his eyes lit up when he was talking about something new he just learned. He missed Ty's thirst for mystery and his thoughtfulness and how he craved to find the center of every question. He missed Ty's energy, Ty’s excitement and most of all his smiles. But Kit knew all too well at what cost that smile he liked so much has disappeared.

Ty's hand was holding the marble Kit had found on the ground at the entrance to the park and he was twirling it around his fingers. Kit watched it, the dark green reflecting orange sunlight.

"Do you want it back?" Ty asked and Kit shook his head, immediately embarrassed.

"I gave it to you," Kit said and Ty raised the marble to the sky and looked through it between his fingers. Then he dropped his arm again and nodded, the small ball rolling among his fingers again. Kit wanted to say something else, but he didn't really know how to talk to Ty that well anymore, despite how much he wanted to.

"It's nice," Ty said suddenly and Kit looked at him, surprised. "I haven't been outside since we came back."

"I know..." Kit said looking back at the ground. "I've always liked this place," he added. "I would come here in the mornings sometime. We lived nearby and I'd jog..." then he swallowed. "Well I only jogged a couple of times to be completely honest... But I do love walking through the path." He felt his cheeks redden from his awkwardness but when he glanced at Ty, it didn't really look like he was paying attention, anyway. His gray eyes on the marble twirling between his fingers, clearly lost in his thoughts. Kit looked away again, chewing at his lip.

"You can keep talking," Ty said. "I'm listening." Kit's heart stuttered.

"Sure," he said and began reciting small stories from his childhood in this park. The weird homeless men he had met and the couple of times he saw celebrities, but he assumed Ty wouldn't know who he was talking about so he skipped their names. "My dad took me here once," he said, remembering suddenly. "I..." He paused collecting his thoughts, surprised at the resurfaced memory. "It was my eleventh birthday, I think. He took me to the lake and we had a small barbecue... chicken, maybe. I don't know..." He rolled his shoulders, uncomfortable. It was rare to have warm memories of his father, almost impossible. Why was he only remembering this now?

"Do you miss him?" Ty asked and Kit took a long breath. Did he? He asked himself that a lot. It felt like he should miss him more, but there was little to miss. A father, sure, but there was no fatherly warmth Kit was missing. Johnny Rook didn't give Kit warmth. He didn’t congratulate him on his grades and he didn’t cook him dinner and he didn’t hug him. He barely touched him, or even looked at him. He almost never told Kit he loves him. Kit wasn't sure if he's even ever told him that he does. Maybe Kit just assumed he would because he is his dad. Aren't parents supposed to love their children?

"There's not a lot to miss," Kit admitted and Ty stopped abruptly.

"How?" Ty looked at him confused. "How is there not a lot to miss?” Kit looked back at him and swallowed, feeling hot under Ty’s scrutinizing gaze. “He was your father, wasn't he? He was there every day of your life. He raised you and he kept you safe. He was part of you," Ty said his gray eyes shining, marble gone inside one of the tight fists by his body.

Kit licked his lips, feeling suddenly nauseous. "Of course I miss him," he said, eyes dropping. "I think about him every day."

"But you said-"

"I wasn't close to my father, Ty," Kit cut him off. He felt bad about it, but he didn't want to talk about this anymore. "I barely knew him," he said and looked up to Ty's eyes and was surprised when they were still looking back at his. They held the gaze for a long moment longer and then Ty looked away.

"I feel like part of me is gone," he said quietly, one fist raising to cradle against his heart. "I don't know how to get it back. I don't know how to stop the empty feeling and all the pain," he dropped his head and Kit wanted more than anything to step forward, put his fingers deep in Ty's black hair and hold him steady. Tell him everything will be okay. Even if he wasn’t sure if it will be, he wanted Ty to believe it. "Everything... Everything I see reminds me of her," Ty said, voice quiet and unsteady. “Even this,” he opened the palm to reveal the dark green marble. “If you raise it to the sky,” he said, raising the marble between himself and Kit, “the color is the exact same as her eyes.” Kit looked up and Ty was right. The color was a dark green blue, the classic Blackthorn eye, except Ty’s of course. Ty dropped his hand, head hanging low again. "I can't bear to keep my eyes open."

Kit stepped forward without thinking and put his hands on Ty's shoulders. "Look at me," he said. When Ty didn't move he repeated, "Look at me, Ty." Ty raised his head then, eyes meeting Kit's. Kit regretted what he did immediately. Sure, he had the urge to hold Ty, but now what? He bit his lip for a brief moment and then let go with a shallow breath. "I can't imagine what you are going through, Ty," he said looking down, hands still tight on Ty's shoulders. "My dad and I... We weren't close and his death was still the most pain I’ve ever experience so for you... I can't imagine," he felt his eyes burn and his own feelings of losing Livvy storming in his chest. He looked back up at Ty who was still watching him, eyes wide and listening. "But you will get through this, Ty. You are strong and you are brilliant and you have your amazing family and your memories and your endless love for your sister. That will never disappear."

Ty watched Kit with shining eyes as they jumped from one of Kit's eyes to the other. "And I have you," Ty added quietly and Kit felt his mouth open in a silent gasp.

He nodded almost feverishly. "Of course. Yes, you have me. I'm here. I'll be here." Ty watched him for a few moments and then averted his gaze, a dust of color on his cheeks.

"Thank you," he said and Kit nodded again, not really knowing what to say anymore. He felt a rush of emotions. At the grief for both his father and a friend. At the empathy he felt for the Blackthorns and most of all, Ty. At the way the blush on Ty's cheeks made him burn inside almost spectacularly. At how much he wanted to kiss Ty all of a sudden, more than he has ever wanted to kiss anyone before.

He dropped his hands suddenly and Ty looked at him, confused. Kit ignored it, running a shaky hand through his hair and looked back at the road. It was split in two before them, and although Kit exclusively went the right way he desperately needed a distraction.

"Wanna go left?" He asked Ty, who still looked perplexed. "I usually go right but we could go left. You know, have an adventure of sorts?" Ty's cute brows raised and Kit smiled at the boy's interest.

"Let's go then," Ty agreed. They went the left path, walking silently. Ty didn't ask Kit to speak again, which Kit was thankful for. He didn't know if he could talk through the noise his heartbeat was making in his ears and throat and entire body.

At the end of the path was a small lake with a bridge to get to the other side. Kit realized regretfully that this is likely the lake from his memory and quickly made his way towards the bridge, wishing to get out of here as soon as possible.

"Kit, wait," Ty called behind him and Kit turned around expecting Ty to bring up the story. Instead Ty was looking at the edge of the lake, eyes wide and excited. Kit felt a surge of happiness at the expression he missed so much on Ty's face, but once he followed Ty's gaze the joy was extinguished.

"Swans," he cursed.

"Clearly," Ty said, delighted. He went towards them while Kit stood still, watching from a safe distance. Ty approached the edge of the lake, where the two swans were swimming in their awkward lazy circles. They were probably plotting something dirty, Kit could feel it. Swans couldn't be trusted and he had two scars on his right hand to prove it. One on the inside of his pointed finger from when he tried to pet the bird as a kid, and another one on his thumb from when he tried to get a soccer ball that rolled into a lake and a swan decided to chomp on another one of his fingers. They were evil birds.

All of a sudden the two swans twisted their alien necks towards Kit to look straight at him and Kit stepped back in shock only to trip a twig and land harshly on his butt. As if satisfied, the birds looked away again and Kit snarled.

"What are you doing?" Ty said in a low voice to not startle the evil birds. "You'll scare them away."

"Good," Kit said and Ty's brows jumped up.

"Do you not like animals?"

"I don't like this particular animal."

Ty frowned. "Are you kyknophobic?"

"Am I what now?"

"Are you afraid of swans," Ty rephrased.

Kit opened his mouth defensively. "I am not afraid."

"Why are you so far away, then?" Touché, Kit thought bitterly. He got up wiping the back of his pants and shoved his hands in his pockets before making his way to Ty, slowly... Very slowly. Ty watched him the entire time, until Kit was standing near him. "You are definitely afraid."

"I am not!" Kit exclaimed, hands sitting deep in his pockets. The swans weren't getting his fingers again. Not today.

"You're lying," Ty said turning to the swans and Kit looked at him, eyes widening at the small smile that has settled on Ty's lips.

"How are you so sure?" Kit said defensively, but also giddy at the glimpse of something he's been longing for.

"When you lie," Ty explained glancing at him for a moment, "your eyes get all wide and you don't blink." Kit was quiet for a moment and a little surprised at Ty making such a specific discovery about Kit. It felt personal. Kit hated getting personal, so why did he feel so pleased?

"It's not my fault swans are spawns of evil," he admitted in a small voice, hands burying even deeper into his pockets. "I mean, those necks can't be natural, right? It's all part of the devil's work."

"Actually-" Ty started but then quieted. When he didn't speak again Kit looked up only to see Ty smiling amusedly at him, though he immediately looked away when Kit caught him. Kit did too, staring pointedly at the ripples in the lake from the swans' movements. "It's okay to be afraid," Ty said finally. "Even of swans. They are grumpy birds."

Kit looked up with big eyes. "They are! I have two scars to prove it!" He said taking out his right hand to point them out. One of the swans made a noise, however, and Kit immediately hid his hand back into his pocket. "It's getting late," he started then, voice quick and panicky. "We should go. You know, parks late at night aren't safe for kids. I'll show them to you back at the institute. There's not enough light here to see them any-"

He was cut off by Ty's laughter and immediately shut up. Ty wasn't laughing loudly but he was smiling wide for the first time since Livvy's death. It was beautiful. He was so so beautiful. Kit tried smiling with him, but felt his mouth wobble. How embarrassing, he thought through burning eyes, he was really getting too emotional these days.

"Let's go back then," Ty said grin subsiding, a small smile still hovering on his lips. "Thank you for today, Kit. I'm really glad you're here with me," he said in a small voice and Kit smiled to himself. They walked side by side, hands hovering close together and Kit wanted so badly to take Ty's hand. More than he wanted to kiss him earlier and more than he wanted another picnic with his father and burnt barbecued chicken. He wanted it more than he's ever wanted anything, but his hand wouldn't move. Not yet, his mind chided, You're not ready yet. Kit wasn't sure if his mind meant just Kit or both him and Ty, but regretfully he agreed.

So for now he told Ty, "I'm glad I'm here, too." And he meant it. He really really meant it.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr.](http://tiberiusandchristopher.tumblr.com/)


End file.
